When comforting someone in grief, well-intentioned phrases can unintentionally minimize their pain or rush their healing. Avoid saying things like “They’re in a better place” or “Everything happens for a reason.” While meant to offer comfort, these statements can feel dismissive, especially when the griever is still processing raw loss. Similarly, urging them to “stay strong” or “move on” ignores the natural ebb and flow of mourning and may make them feel pressured to suppress their emotions.

Don’t compare losses by saying, “I know exactly how you feel,” unless you’ve experienced a nearly identical situation grief is deeply personal, and comparisons often fall short. Avoid focusing on silver linings like “At least they lived a long life” or “You can always have another child.” These remarks, however gentle, shift focus away from the griever’s current pain rather than validating it.

It’s also unhelpful to say, “Call me if you need anything.” Grieving individuals often struggle to ask for help or even identify what they need. Instead, offer specific support: “I’m bringing dinner Tuesday” or “I’d like to stop by Saturday morning to walk the dog.”

Lastly, don’t avoid mentioning the deceased altogether out of fear of upsetting the person. Many grieving individuals appreciate hearing their loved one’s name and sharing memories. Silence can feel like erasure.

In short, skip platitudes, comparisons, and vague offers of help. Prioritize presence over perfection, listen more than you speak, and let the griever set the emotional pace. Your willingness to sit with their discomfort without trying to fix it often speaks louder than any words.

If you're supporting someone through grief, consider grief-informed resources or counseling services to guide your approach with empathy and care.